We romanticize Autumn as the harvest season when the bounty of nature is brought in and put up for the cold season, but this also means that there is a lot of death. The bees will drop dead in their tracks working to collect food. The flowers will fade, flowers that have given so much pleasure during the season. The food crops also must be killed to be harvested. Many farm animals are “harvested” at this time of year.

I have spent the whole season cultivating bees and butterflies, and feeding hummingbirds. We carefully planned the plants we would put in the garden and raised them with care, watching every stage of their development. We loaded the feeders for the hummingbirds. Now the hummingbirds are heading south following the warm weather. The bees don’t live a long time, one season if they’re lucky. I can tell they are getting tired. So also are the remaining flowers which are not long for this world.

A mournful rain begins to fall, slow and gentle. I have come to love the slow, gentle rain. It is soothing and sets a good mood for creative work. I have nowhere to go today so I watch and enjoy the rain. Today fits with the mood of my melancholy. The rain is like tears for all of the life that is passing away – for the bees, leaves, flowers and for the birds who are leaving and heading south for the warmth.

I suppose this is a personal thing with me. No one else knows of these plants and these bees and these hummingbirds. I imagine that others grieve for the butterflies and honey bees, but to me it seems that I am alone in that. People rush into fall unseeing. They go to football games and Halloween parties, never seeing. I see all of the little things and it puts a sadness in my soul for their short lives.

It has turned cold. My precious bumblebees are just clinging to blossoms on the pineapple sage. They will die soon which is the natural course of things, but still I resist it and grieve about it. They have been excellent company through the summer. I know that they must die for the great cycle of life to continue. I know this. I have lived it over and over. I still don’t like it.



Syd Weedon
10/12/2023