The girls never said “No” to me.

Syd Weedon, 1982, at Andrew’s house on Coronado Island, my 30th birthday.

The girls never said “No” to me. But then, I was cute, a gentleman; I liked to talk. I listened to the stuff they said even when I thought it was silly. None of it was silly. I didn’t push my luck. I used my voice and my hands, but I always watched for the small cues. My daddy wasn’t rich but I had a nice car. I opened the doors, pulled out chairs and helped them with their coats. That part isn’t rocket science: act like a civilized human being.

I never had any difficulty in knowing when a woman wanted to get intimate. I’m not naming names but when they were ready to go, they let me know. There were never any misunderstandings about that. There were some broken hearts; there were things I wish I had done differently, but I don’t think any of my ladies hate me tonight.

I’m a vain creature – the country club dances and sock hops in the gym at school – I learned how to have fun. I learned the boundaries. I learned that I never wanted to hear the “No.” I arranged things so that I never had to hear it. Brittle, maybe, but it just wasn’t worth the humiliation.

I’m a vain creature. I would rather choke to death and burn in hell than do something that someone else didn’t want me to do. The thing that always turned me on was to be wanted. I guess I was just lucky that way. My instincts tended to keep me from breaking laws and doing dumb stuff. When the word was “no” it was no. “Ok, let’s hop into the car and go get something to eat.”

It. Is. Not. Complicated. Guys.


    • Actually, that is an angry piece. Sometimes I’m funny even on things that aren’t supposed to be funny. I wrote that the day Harvey Weinstein was convicted. It’s really about men acting badly toward women, and how none of that is necessary when we pay attention, be respectful and aware.


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